The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
