sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
