Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
