there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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