Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize