I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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