Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I still have a little drunk in my system
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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