I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
