i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
