I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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