ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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