You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
