Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
