i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you will always have a special place in my vag
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
