I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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