It was confusing and full of hummus
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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