He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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