vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
