I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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