Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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