my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
