It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
