Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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