I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
