Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
