I cockslap morals
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
