u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
