It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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