i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
