Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
