I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
