yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
