I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
