She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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