There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
