Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
