New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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