Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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