I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
