So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
