And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
