i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
third nipple confirmed
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
