he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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