I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
