9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We left an ass print on the piano.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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