Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
