so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
