it was like his penis was on wheels.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
