Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize