I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
