I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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