under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
