I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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