Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
