Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
