I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
