Tell her she can't have a vagina
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We need a shit load of segways right now
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
