It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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