I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
